Who does the Eulogy?
Who does the Eulogy?
Even if the leader of the funeral knew the deceased well, they certainly were not present for all aspects of someone’s life. Ministers’ or Celebrants will very often spend an hour or two gathering information during a meeting with friends and family in order to craft a personal eulogy.
There may be an obvious family member or close friend that knew the deceased very well and is comfortable with public speaking. It is usual that they will consult with others, informally, to ensure that they can represent the many relationships that exist in our lives.
If a person had a busy life, then there may be several aspects that should be mentioned. If two or more speakers are to be asked, then give clear direction as to how long they should speak for. Let each speaker know who else will be speaking and ensure that everybody is aware of their role in helping to deliver the eulogy.
How do I prepare a Eulogy?
With any public speaking there are several logical stages to work through.
As you start to consider what to say, be sure to write down your thoughts. Do not be over concerned with how perfect they are, or in what order they might be. Be comfortable with leaving things for a while, and returning at a later time. Remember, you are trying to capture a person’s experience, contributions and character. Sometimes, a chronological order will work if there is a common theme for example: frequent travel, helping others, work or profession.
Be positive, have courage, and trust that you know what to say. It does not have to be perfect, very few of our relationships and communications are!
In being asked to deliver a eulogy you have been offered the trust of the close friends and family, and as long as you write from the heart, your eulogy will be gratefully accepted by everyone present.
If you are nervous, it is because it is important for you to do a good job. Remember, everyone is wishing you well, relax, take your time. You may even find it an easier and more enjoyable task that you had expected.
By Melissa Abraham ‘When we Remember’